Surviving Collete - The Parents Guide!

Surviving College - The Parents Guide!

It’s a tough year, dealing with the Leaving Certificate, filling in CAO forms, attending various College Open Days etc but helping your son or daughter make the right choice for third level is an important role for parents. Along with the schools and career guidance counsellors we at ITT Dublin do our best to help with that decision.  Even though we may have visited their school and given a talk or they may have attended our Open Day we understand that you may have lots more questions, so we are here to help with any queries you or they may have on any of our courses. 

Students pick a college for a number of reasons, sometimes few of which have to do with the academic side of College.  Perhaps a number of their friends are choosing it, or is it far enough from home that they think they will feel independence at last? Whatever the case, an open, non-judgemental attitude on your part is necessary if you want to play a role in this decision.

Discuss career options with your child and encourage his or her aspirations.   Cost, location from your home, size of college and courses on offer are all big factors in your part of the decision. Investigate if your son/daughter would be eligible for a grant which will help with the cost, check out www.studentfinance.ie or contact your local County Council

Choosing a college and course is the first “grown up” decision your child will be faced with.  It will be stressful for them, so keep your sense of humour, and be prepared to listen.  Listen a lot!!


Surviving the First Year! image10

The following are 7 tips on helping you survive your child’s first year in college. The torturous wait is over, the mulling over the various prospectuses and looking at the websites of every University and College and the offer comes through the door.  You may think your troubles are over, but…. Think again.

  1. Offer roots and wings – Provide a link back to stability during a year of continuous adjustments.  As parents you can offer firm roots to first-year students being blown away by the strong winds of change.  At the same time, as students begin to settle in, you have to let them go and give them the freedom they need.  First-year students need to make their own decisions; this is probably their first taste of independence.
  2. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate – If they are living away from home for the first time, ring them often, send email, text messages of encouragement.  Keep them informed of what is happening at home and ask them what they are doing, are they eating, sleeping well etc.  Don’t be surprised to get lots of contact in the very beginning and for it to taper off as the semester rolls on. 
  3. Fasten your seat belt – The smiley faces of the first few days as your children meet their new interesting Lecturers, classmates, and realise that they are being treated as adults and not school children can turn to grumpy faces by the middle of the semester, if not sooner!  Students idealised view of college, parties, fun and sun can turn rudely into reality once the hard work begins.  This is normal and most students feel like this.  So don’t worry they are NORMAL!!!!
  4. Hang tough – While you may be on the receiving end of, “I don’t think I like it”, “maybe I made the wrong decision with this course” You may feel helpless or at a loss for words.  The important thing to do is to listen.  Eventually if your child’s concerns require action, you, as a parent will make that decision.  Insist if at all possible that they do not leave in the first semester, very often this will sort out any concerns and they will really settle in when the first semester is over. 
  5. Ask for help – Talk to other parents, talk to some of their friends from college if you can, you will be surprised at the insights this can give you.  Finally if you feel this has failed remember we have lots of supports here for our students.  Encourage them to talk to their lecturers, Head of Department, the Counsellor or our Learning Support Unit.  All these people are here to help and we really want our students to come to us if they have any difficulties.
  6. Trust them to do the right thing – Research has shown that children are value- programmed by the time they are 10 years old.  Certainly by the time they come to us in College, you have given them your values and standards.  They may not live their lives exactly as you would wish, but your lifetime of guidance will not be ignored.  Students know what is right and will usually do the right thing.  Trust Them!!!
  7. Give yourself a pat on the back – Be proud of them, but also be proud of yourselves that you have got them to this stage in their lives.  Enjoy the freedom of letting them go.